How to get rid of shyness and excessive self consciousness ~ Memory & Mind Technologies

How to get rid of shyness and excessive self consciousness

A 32 year old woman, Shalini Mehta, a cardiologist by the profession, is waiting for her turn in the waiting lounge of a psychiatrist’s clinic. She has been facing an awkward problem since her childhood. Whenever she talks to a stranger, she feels very nervous. Instead of focusing concentrating on the other person, her entire focus remains on herself. She finds herself in a blackout situation. Her mind stops recording a single word spoken by the other person. Whenever she tries to speak something, her voice starts stammering. She has to clear her throat every time before speaking. The only voice she listens to in her mind- “What will he think about me? Oh god! I messed up everything. Should I say this? Won’t they take it in a negative way? I am not looking good. I don’t look like a doctor. I need to pay more attention to improve my personality. If I pay more attention to styling, won’t others consider me as a show off?” Whenever she looks good, she tries to look casual so that people won’t call her a show off. And whenever she wears something outdated the only thing that hammers her mind is what others will say. Whenever she tries to be humorous, she thinks that she should be more reserved otherwise; her patience and other colleagues won’t respect her. Whenever she remains quiet and reserved, she thinks that in order to interact with others she needs to be more humorous. These ironic thinking pattern and excessive self consciousness is making her life devastated.

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I am sure most of the people reading this article will identify themselves to with her. Excessive self consciousness is a major cause of social anxiety in the patients suffering from social phobia, social anxiety and shyness.In fact, the root cause of social anxiety is excessive self consciousness. A person suffering from social anxiety develops and extreme fear of rejection. He fears and hesitates in any kind of social situation. He feels uncomfortable to perform even his daily routine whenever he finds someone around him. He develops a thinking pattern that forces him to believe that everyone is watching and judging his each and every movement and waiting to figure out his mistakes and misconducts.

“Shyness has a strong element of narcissism, a belief that how we look, how we perform, is truly important to other people”.

-Andre Dubus

If you are suffering from shyness caused by excessive self consciousness, the steps described in this article will be helpful to you. In my previous article “How to get rid of social anxiety”, I’ve explained the various reasons that cause shyness. If you haven’t read the article, I would suggest you to go and read it in order to recognize the type of shyness you are facing.

Steps to overcome shyness and excessive self consciousness-

Start focusing on others- In order to reduce the self consciousness, you need to focus on others. Whenever you meet a person, give him a warm handshake with a broad smile. Ask his name and try to associate it with his face in a funny manner. Example- If the name is James, and he has wide nostrils, try to visualize that precious gem like diamond, ruby etc. is falling out of his nostrils( Keep your visualization private and don’t tell the other person about it or you can get blood bleeding out of your nose:-) ).

The method described above not only helps you to reduce your self-consciousness but also strengthens your imagination power and creativity.

Sharpen your observation skills- Get a paper and a pen and start writing down the articles and other articles you have in your bedroom without looking at them. Now, go and tally your list with the items you actually have in your room. Do this exercise on a regular basis and soon you will develop a super imagination power like Sherlock Holmes. Whenever you wait for a bus or train, start observing people around you. Try to record the details about them. Assume yourself as the prime witness of a crime. Record every details you can detect like- how them look, what they are wearing, is there something unique or unusual you see about them, which brand of cell phone they have in their hand? These exercises will entertain you as well as improve your awareness about your surrounding in order to reduce your excessive self-consciousness.

Meditation to reduce self-consciousness and to get rid of social anxiety-

Go to your bed room and close the door. Make sure no one is going to disturb you for the next half an hour. Lie down on your bed and make yourself comfortable. Breathe slowly and release the tension of your nerves. You can also use the

self-hypnosis technique explained in the previous article, to reduce your stress level. Now, start replaying the activities you’ve performed today. Recall each and every event in the same order they have been occurring since you woke up in the morning today. Try to recall the conversation you had with the person just after you woke up. Try to remember the colors of his shirt. Try to recall the each activity you got involved. This exercise is little difficult but, an extremely powerful method to sharpen observation and memory power. It will improve your creativity, imagination and your awareness about your surroundings in no time. And you will be able to reduce your excessive self-consciousness in order to get rid of social-anxiety and shyness.
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Okay guys, it's time to say good bye. Till we meet next time, enjoy your precious life and treasure each moment with whom you love and care. Take care and live consciously.

Authored By-

Memory Guru Deepak

How to get rid of shyness and excessive self consciousness